Pre-Clomid Ultrasound Update

Well I guess I have been living in denial. I never truly accepted the PCOS diagnosis and thought that by improving my way of life and taking herbs such as Dong Quai & Vitex, eating more yams (great fertility food), and taking Metformin, that I could fix me. BOY WAS I F*@$ING wrong! I just don't know what I did to deserve this.

I really thought that when I had my ultrasound yesterday, since I was on day 16 of my cycle, that my doc would see that I'm close to ovulating. HA. I obviously cannot fix myself. I know there's no cure for PCOS, but I really still thought it was a mistake. My biggest follicle in each ovary was only around 7mm. Doc said they need to be more like 17mm and it doesn't look like I'll ovulate this cycle.

I guess the good news is that I do not have any cysts so I can start Clomid on my next cycle. She told me there was a 10% chance for multiples and asked if Joy and I were okay with that. I said what can I do, I don't have much of a choice. Either take the chance or possibly never have kids. I'll be 30 this year, my fertility is naturally declining as it is and the older I get the greater risk of health problems. She wanted me to wait for this cycle to naturally end. I told her I've had 3 month long cycles before, I am not going to just sit here and wait some more hoping to have a short cycle this time. It's been 1.5 years already! So she agreed if I don't ovulate or have a period in 3 weeks then I'll take Provera or Prometrium to end this cycle. Glad I put my foot down.

So now I wait. I get so frustrated when I talk to some people because they just don't get it. They tell me to just relax, you're working on this too hard. WTF! I HAVE to work at this, it's just not going to magically happen. I need drugs to ovulate and I HAVE to track and monitor my cycles or else how the hell will I know when I'm ovulating. If you don't have anything nice to say then shut your freakin trap!

I just have to take my mind off all this while I wait because I'm driving myself nuts and getting way too angry.

Joy and I have been going to the gym together again, which is really nice. I feel much better when I'm active, so I'll just have to keep myself very very busy and not talk to certain people.

Okay I guess I'm done ranting :)